Being a pastor, I get to hear both sides of the story, of why some Christians do want to be part of a church and why other Christians don't. Obviously I'm delighted to see more people become part of a local church. It's also intriguing to learn why other Christians stay away. When I have conversations with them, they usually put the burden on me to explain why the OUGHT to be involved in a church. Fair enough, although I think the burden on proof is also on them.
How can someone think of themselves as a Christian and yet refuse to be part of a local congregation? Plenty of Christians have made intentional choices not to return to a church for worship. Why?
I suppose the consumer mentality of our culture helps fuel the attitude of some Christians: they value a church like they value a good bargain. They end up being "satisfaction guaranteed" oriented instead of servant-hearted oriented. Or something better to do on Sunday mornings appeared on their radar: sleeping in and having a relaxing morning, a long walk or a round of golf, family breakfasts and bike rides, etc. Or they were part of a congregation that was boring, irrelevant, petty, small-minded, judgmental, cliquish, and stingy.
Local congregations can make it harder for people to stay involved if they assume that people ought to stick around no matter what. A church is made of real people, a church is made up of a myriad of relationships. Relationships take a lot of work, especially when dealing with real, normal people who aren't your family or your first round of friends. If a church doesn't make love its first priority when it comes to attitude and actions, the relationship side of it will become burdensome and unrewarding.
Every local congregation is a little different, not everyone will feel like they fit in. But churches ought to make it a point to be diverse in their community - if everyone looks like each other, you'll undermine the vibrancy of the relationships. This is true for suburban churches and urban churches, for small churches and large churches, for mainline churches and evangelical churches, for old churches and new churches.
Why become part of a church?
1) learn to love God and others amongst real people with a similar heart.
2) become part of a community that is accepting - not based on your resume, your appearance, your skills/talents, your background, your health, your wealth, your interests, your accomplishments, your sins, your failures, your mistakes, your addictions, your past; but accepting of you because of love, because of God's love for you, because of God's love for us expressed in hospitality and welcome to you.
3) become part of a community of people who can accomplish more good together than on their own - the love of many is more powerful than the love of one. By caring for each other and our neighbors, we get to benefit from the many helping hands of a church instead of struggling forward all by yourself.
4) As a Christian, you didn't become one all by yourself, and you can't stay one all by yourself. Christ used many people to help you trust him, and you need people to help you keep trusting and following him. In fact, you can't follow him alone, you are to follow him with others.
Those are my four best reasons. What would yours be?
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