This is probably the most common sentiment people have towards God: He seems to be far away. Most people admit that they've never heard God speak to them, they can count on one hand how many times they've "felt" God, and they're not sure if God's ever answered any of their prayers (especially the really important ones...). For a lot of us, God always seems distant. How do you worship a God that feels so far away?
St. John of the Cross referred to these days of spiritual dryness, doubt, and estrangement from God as "the dark night of the soul."
Several times I've had my "dark night of the soul". Times when not only does God not seem close, he seems to have purposefully withdrawn himself completely. Have you ever had that? What did you do?
Mother Teresa confessed in her diaries (which were published after her death) that for most of her ministry to the poor and dying of Calcutta, she NEVER felt God's presence, that God felt very far away. Yet she loved, inspired by God's love for her and others through the life of Jesus. She kept trusting God, though she didn't feel his presence. She kept faith in a God who felt far away. Her work amongst the rejected of Calcutta is amazing, and so is her faith. I think of Mother Teresa often...
The heart of worship is trust, and trust is not a feeling, but a choice. Do I trust when I feel like it? Do I trust because I choose it, no matter how I feel? Will I believe God even when I don't feel like it? I suppose you could say that our worship of God is more genuine when we trust him even though we don't feel like it. I'm sure God smiles big when we worship when we want to, but I'm also sure that God is honored when we worship even though we don't feel like it.
This feeling thing is a big deal - many of us only make decisions based on how we feel. We "choose" based on how we feel about a situation. Choosing always factors in feelings, but choosing wisely is not dependent on feelings. Wisdom and worship do the next right thing no matter how you feel about it. How about you - how much do your feelings direct your decisions? Really?
It's fine to want to feel close to God, nothing wrong with that desire. But don't make that desire more important than maturity. Wise, mature women and men choose to trust God and follow Jesus based on their understanding of reality, of truth, of life, of love - not based on how they feel about God and Jesus. Does that make sense?
"For God has said, 'I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.'" Some things have to be believed before they can be seen.
What about you? What was helpful to you in the readings today?
1 comment:
I had a darkness in my life that I did not think I could get rid of.It was hard for me to worship him at the time, but I did. I asked myself why was God so distant from me? why did he abandon me? I realize now that when God was distant from me at the time, it was so I could mature more and to put more trust in him.God will never leave me or forsake me even when he is distant from me.
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