With all the different types of people who are becoming part of Anchor, the thought comes to me: what can I do to help everyone contribute to the vitality of our community. With all the differences comes many opportunities for others to get annoyed, offended, misunderstood, irritated, etc. But with all the differences comes a great opportunity to dig deep and learn how to love and make a real contribution to community.
This whole chapter was very good, so much to quote, and so much for me to chew on and live out.
"You are joined together with peace through the Spirit, so make every effort to continue together in this way." It takes both God's power and our effort to produce a loving Christian community.
Most people have no one in their lives who loves them enough to tell them the truth (even when it's painful), so they continue in self-destructive ways.
The Bible tells us to "speak the truth in love" because we can't have community without candor.
Real fellowship, whether in a marriage, a friendship, or your church, depends on frankness. In fact, the tunnel of conflict is the passageway to intimacy in any relationship. Until you care enough to confront and resolve the underlying barriers, you will never grow close to each other.
Pride blocks God's grace in our lives, which we must have in order to grow, change, heal, and help others. We receive grace by humbly admitting that we need it. The Bible says anytime we are prideful, we are living in opposition to God!
You can develop humility in very practical ways: by admitting your weaknesses, by being patient with others' weaknesses, by being open to correction, and by pointing the spotlight on others. Paul advised, "Live in harmony with each other. Don't try to act important, but enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don't think you know it all!"
Courtesy is respecting our differences, being considerate of each other's feelings, and being patient with people who irritate us.
In [your life] and in every church there is always at least one "difficult" person, usually more than one. These difficult people may have special emotional needs, deep insecurities, irritating mannerisms, or poor social skills. You might call them EGR people - "Extra Grace Required." God put these people in our midst for both their benefit and ours.
One key to courtesy is understanding where people come from. Discover their history. When you know what they've been through, you will be more understanding. Instead of thinking about how far they still have to go, think about how far they have come in spite of their hurts.
Another part of courtesy is not downplaying other people's doubts. Just because you don't fear something doesn't make it an invalid feeling.
Life is about relationships - become successful in relationships and you are considered successful in life. Success with relationships is based on the many different kinds of people you can relate to, and how well you can be humble and courteous to them. What good is a church if it is able to attract lots of people, but all those people aren't any better at becoming successful in relationships with a wide variety of people? What good is a church if it stays small and gets real close to each other, but they never succeed in relating to all the different people in their neighborhood?
How about for you? How much more humility and more courtesy do you need to infuse into your relationships with more people?
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