Clueless

I’ve always been a praying person. Even as a little girl I prayed, often asking and sometimes begging God to “let me have this” or “let this happen for me.” And when my prayers were answered, I was thankful and in awe, but for a moment before something new captured my attention. But when God would neglect to answer my prayers in the time I felt appropriate, I would often get frustrated--sometimes even angry-- that I didn’t get my way. And I’m ashamed to admit, I get very impatient now when my prayers aren't answered in my time, much in the same way I did as a child.

My dad has always told me that God has three answers to prayers: yes, no and not now. Not now means that God will answer my prayer, but in His time, not mine. This works to teach me patience. Yes means yes but may not be for the best, a kind of “be careful what you wish for” scenario at times. And no means that God has something even better in store for me. While I’ve never found any biblical evidence to support my dad’s thinking, I’ve found that the “rule of three answers” has always been pretty accurate in my prayer life.

I can certainly handle the “yes” answers and I’m starting to get used to the “not now” but I’m still a big cry baby when God tells me no. After all, don’t I know what’s best for me and my life? Shouldn't I be the one to make the really big decisions? Aren't I a big girl now?

Unfortunately, I don’t have a clue what’s best most of the time. I didn’t create me, therefore I can’t possibly know what’s best for me. My future is not in my hands and pretending to know what’s best is like driving a car blindly, not knowing where to turn because I don’t know the final destination.

It was only after I began to realize that “no” really meant “ask for something else” did the finality of a “no” answer become not-so-final after all. Instead, “no” is more of a new beginning--a change in course, a detour to a destination far better than the one I had originally thought ideal.

In the first third of Acts chapter three, we find Peter and John at the Temple precisely at the hour of Jewish prayer. They watch as a man, lame from birth, is carried to the Beautiful Gate--not by strangers, no doubt, but by people fully aware of the severity of his affliction. The man obviously made it a habit to come to the Temple at the busiest time of day--the Hour of Prayer--to beg from those going to worship.

The man sees Peter and John and asks to receive alms. Peter instructs the man to look at them and tells him that he has no silver or gold but he will give him what he does have and, in the name of Jesus, heals the man. A man who was crippled since birth, an obviously well-known man, unable to walk or work, was immediately healed in plain sight of countless onlookers. The man then stood and began to walk and leap, praising God all the while.

But he didn't ask the men to heal him; all he wanted held mere monetary value. He had probably never even entertained the idea that his condition could ever be cured. Instead he spent day after day at the Beautiful Gate, begging for whatever the others around him could spare. And he was no doubt content with what he received, never realizing what he was missing. He probably could’ve spent the rest of his life carrying on much in the same way he always had without even daring to think of what his life could be. He was content with mediocrity and satisfied with the mundane.

The lame man didn’t receive what he wanted from Peter and John, instead he received something far greater than he could’ve ever imagined. He just didn’t know what to ask for. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” (ESV) It's my favorite verse and the one that's gotten me through many bouts of "this is so unfair" and "why is this happening to me?" So while my life and it’s direction may be somewhat out of my hands, I know that God is saying to me, “I’ve got this. Just trust Me.” Now when I pray, I pray with purpose but with a fuzzy image of the outcome because I know, in the end, it’s all in God’s hands and it will all come together just as He intends. And chances are, it’ll be far better than anything I could’ve imagined for myself. That’s one of the many wonderful things about God; He always knows what’s best for me and what I need, precisely when I need it.