Why Do I Believe In The Crucifixion?

Good Friday, April 6, 2012

I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth.

I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried; he descended to the dead.

On the third day he rose again; he ascended into heaven, he is seated at the right hand of the Father, and he will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting.
Amen.

Why do I believe in the crucifixion?

Why do I believe Jesus suffered, was crucified, died and was buried?

Why do I believe that Jesus was tortured by betrayal? A betrayal he could foresee but wouldn’t avoid. A betrayal he endured well before it became reality. A betrayal by the first apostle he called to follow him. A betrayal by the disciple who swore to follow him to the death. A betrayal that left him friendless, alone, abandoned. A betrayal by all the men who called him teacher, who called him master, who called him friend.

A betrayal by a kiss, for some silver.

A betrayal by the ones who walked with Jesus, endured the dusty roads and cold, dark desert nights. Betrayal by the ones who asked the most questions, by the ones sent out to heal and proclaim forgiveness, by the ones witness to feeding of thousands, casting away evil spirits, and welcoming sinners to dinner. Why do I believe Jesus suffered?


Why do I believe Jesus was tortured by injustice? An injustice that permeated the land, an injustice that required a prophetic confrontation from Jesus.

An injustice that had existed for the life of the nation, an injustice that crushed the widows and orphans, that took advantage of the poor and the foreigner, an injustice that flowed from the ones with power and privilege, an injustice that rolled like a river, drowning the weak and crippled, the sick and broken, the abandoned and traumatized.

An injustice that used lies to establish it’s grip, an injustice that fueled fears to sink it’s roots deeper into the community, an injustice that used misunderstanding for its gain, that used apathy to further its agenda in the nation.

An injustice that prompted God to send a prophet to confront, an injustice that God would no longer allow to reign in Israel.

Why do I believe that Jesus was tortured by violence? Tortured by clubs and swords, tortured by chains and shackles, tortured by shoves and spit, tortured by slander and mockery, tortured by ripping out of beard and tearing off of clothes, tortured by whips, by lashes of shards and spikes, tortured by thirst, tortured by exhaustion, tortured by carrying his cross, tortured by the nails in his feet, spikes in his wrists, tortured by the speak in his side, tortured by the splinters in his open wounds, tortured by the gasping for air, tortured by the searing agony of breathing, tortured by the hanging naked in public, tortured by the jeers and disbelief, tortured by the violence of humanity, tortured by the darkness.

Why do I believe Jesus was crucified?


Why do I believe Jesus was put to death on a cross by humanity? Why do I believe that Jesus was abandoned by God? Forsaken, as Jesus put it. “Eloi, eloi, lema sabachthani,” to quote the crucified and dying Jesus. “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me…” is what he whispered, what he groaned, what he felt. Why do I believe that Jesus was trusting in a Father who seemed far away, far from his cries of anguish?

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? 

My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.

Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircles me; they pierce my hands and my feet.
All my bones are on display; people stare and gloat over me.
They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment.

But you, LORD, do not be far from me.
You are my strength; come quickly to help me.
Deliver me from the sword, my precious life from the power of the dogs.
Rescue me from the mouth of the lions; save me from the horns of the wild oxen.

God did not answer Jesus’s plea for rescue. It’s as if God turned his eyes and ears away from the bloody cries for deliverance and justice.

Why do I believe that Jesus was crucified as a blasphemer and insurrectionist? Why do I believe Jesus was killed on a cross, the sign of a cursed man in God’s eyes? Why do I believe Jesus was killed as a criminal, murdered along with two other terrorists? Why do I believe that Jesus was caught up in the execution machine of the Roman Empire? Why do I believe that Jesus let himself be crucified by the Israel he came to save? Why do I believe Jesus let himself be executed by the Romans he came to save?

Why do I believe in the crucifixion?

I believe Jesus was the Cup whose wine and blood were poured out to establish a New Covenant of forgiven sins, of shalom, agape and zoe for this life now and in the one to come.
I believe Jesus was the Lamb of God who came to take away the sins of the world.


I believe Jesus was the Shepherd of Israel who lays down his life for his sheep.
I believe Jesus was the Servant of Israel who was pierced for our transgressions, who was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.


I believe Jesus was the Prophet of Israel sent by God to turn his people away from injustice, to return his people to the way of righteousness.
I believe Jesus was the High Priest of Israel sent by God to offer his own life as an atoning sacrifice in the Temple of God, in the Holy of Holies for the sins of Israel, for the sins of all the nations, all the peoples.
I believe Jesus was the King of Israel sent to establish the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and free his rebellious people from their captivity by proclaiming the truth and leading them in a new way.

Why do I believe Jesus was crucified? 


It’s a scandalous event. God killed by his own people. Jesus murdered by the ones he came to save. The Son of God sent by the Father, executed as a rebel king and blaspheming, false prophet. This is not how the story is seemingly supposed to go.

Historically, the crucifixion of Jesus is the most likely verifiable part of the Gospel story. It’s the one element of the tale that is most likely to be believable. And yet we find ourselves believing in the historical event without believing the truth of the event in our heart, in our life.

Do I believe in the crucifixion of Jesus? 


Do I believe in suffering as a servant of God? Do I believe that God will send me to confront injustice? Do I believe that God will call me to turn people away from their sins? Do I believe that God will ask me to live as a kingdom of priests, a witness to the words and works of Jesus? As the body of Jesus, do I believe that there are holes in the wrists and feet of my heart?

Do I believe that I have suffered for speaking truth to power? Do I believe that I have suffered for bringing love to my enemies? Do I believe that I have suffered for teaching others to forgive those who sin against them? Do I believe I have forgiven those who are crucifying me? Or do I avoid crucifixion?

Do I avoid suffering? Do I avoid confronting injustice? Do I avoid turning others away from sin? Do I avoid loving my enemies? Do I avoid caring for the widows and orphans? Do I avoid the label of blasphemer and insurrectionist? Do I avoid trouble? Do I believe in the crucifixion?

Do I believe I would have been like Peter, and sought to prevent the crucifixion? Do I believe I would have been like Judas, and sought to prompt Jesus to rise up as the new powerful king of Israel and deliver them from the Roman Empire? Do I believe I would have been like the Pharisees, irritated and threatened by Jesus’ new teachings about God and forgiveness and sin and unrighteousness and injustice and love?

Do I believe I would have been like the mob that called for the release of Barabbas and the crucifixion of Jesus? Do I believe I would have been like the apostles who ran away from the ones sent to arrest Jesus? Do I believe I would have been like the Temple priests who wanted God to intervene and free Israel, but not in the way that Jesus commanded and demonstrated?


Do I believe that crucifixion is part of following Jesus? Do I believe that suffering is part of our discipleship? Do I believe that loving my neighbor as Jesus loves me will bring both joy and suffering? Do I believe that loving my enemies as Jesus loves my enemies will bring both peace and conflict?

Do I believe that welcoming sinners, giving hospitality to sinners, healing sinners, befriending sinners, will bring both love and hatred? Do I believe that confronting injustice with truth will bring about victory and persecution? Do I believe that crucifixion was the way of salvation for the world? Do I seek to avoid my own crucifixion? Do I work to avoid suffering or do I work in the way of Jesus?

Why do I believe in the crucifixion of Jesus? 


I believed it as a child because of the stories my parents taught me, because of the Bible lessons I learned in Sunday School, through the sermons I heard in church. I believed in the crucifixion of Jesus because it was presented to me as true. But then I grew up.

As the Apostle Paul puts it:

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 

I had my own sufferings, my own deaths, my own disappointments, my own betrayals, my own wounds, my own clashes with reality, my own attempts to love and be loved, my own sense of forsakenness by God.

And then I wondered: does it matter if Jesus was crucified or not. In this life, in this age, in my world, so what if Jesus was crucified. And so now I am on a journey, working to believe in the crucifixion of Jesus. So many people before me have believed it. Why? Why believe that Jesus was crucified? Why believe the stories of his crucifixion?


If there is a God, surely he wouldn’t do what the Bible claims God did. It’s scandalous what happened to Jesus. It’s unexpected. It rattles the status quo. It shakes our understanding of reality. The crucifixion is how we know that God identifies with our suffering. In this pain-full world, God is not immune to our cries. We have caused him to weep, we have inflicted wounds on his heart.

We shake our fist at God for the suffering we endure, the suffering we see inflicted around us – and yet God does not shake his fist at us for the torture and betrayal we inflicted upon him. In his crucifixion, Jesus asked God to forgive humanity, for we did not know what we are doing.

I believe in the crucifixion of Jesus. It reveals to me a God who is with me, for me, even when I am against him. I believe in the crucifixion of Jesus, for it is the way of deep wisdom, the way of redemptive suffering, it is the way of overcoming evil with good. I believe in the crucifixion because it is unbelievable, it is unlikely, it is unexpected, it is scandalous, it is outrageous, it is unimaginable.


The story of the crucifixion of Jesus requires a leap of faith to accept. I grew up believing it with no leap of faith. I assumed the story was true because that’s what I had been told. I had to disbelieve and doubt the story in order to believe it to be true. It takes a leap of faith for me to accept the crucifixion to be true.

There is plenty of evidence being amassed against the veracity and reliability of the crucifixion stories. On one hand, the research challenges my beliefs, it makes it harder to believe. On the other hand, the world wants Jesus to be dead, to be quiet, to fade away as a quaint historical memory. But when the story of Jesus and his crucifixion is believed, there is no power on earth that can stem the message of salvation, reconciliation, forgiveness, righteousness, agape, shalom that comes from the crucifixion.


I believe in the crucifixion because it’s not the final story of Jesus. I believe in the crucifixion because I also believe in the resurrection, because I also believe in the ascension, because I believe in Pentecost, because I believe in God’s Kingdom come to Earth, because I believe in the return of the King, Jesus and the restoration of all things, when the New Heavens and the New Earth come together and God dwells with his people.

I say why I believe in the crucifixion, but the real challenge is to live as if the crucifixion is true. I read and hear the stories of the crucifixion of Jesus – but do I live as if they are true. Too much of the time, the answer is no. I must turn to the crucified Jesus and ask for forgiveness, for help to believe, for help in my unbelief.


I believe that my starting point for the crucifixion of Jesus is disbelief, as revealed through my everyday actions. That any of us believe in the crucifixion of Jesus is an act of God, that any of us live out the belief of Jesus’ crucifixion is a sign of God at work in our world.

We must rely on God to believe in the crucifixion, we must rely on God to live out our belief in the crucifixion. We must rely on God, since there is no difference between what we believe about the crucifixion and how we live, since how we live is what we truly believe. We can confess with our mouth what we believe about Jesus and the crucifixion, but it is our works that give life to our faith – a faith that is gift of God by grace.


Why do I believe in the crucifixion of Jesus? It’s a gift of God that I do. It’s a sign of God at work in the world, in my life, that I live out the reality of Jesus’ crucifixion. It’s by grace that I believe in the crucifixion of Jesus.


And it’s only in suffering that I live out the crucifixion. Where there is suffering for loving, for righteousness, for justice, for reconciliation, for forgiveness, for peace in the name of Jesus – that is living out our belief in the crucifixion.


Why do you believe in the crucifixion of Jesus? How do you live out your belief in the crucifixion of Jesus?

May we, in our honest moments on this Good Friday, hear Jesus words to us – hear the Jesus with holes in his hands, his feet, his side, hear his words to us, hear his words to the disciple known as Peter, a disciple who like the others didn’t believe in the crucifixion, yet who was still a disciple of Jesus.

May we hear Jesus’ words to Peter, to us in our failure to believe, in our disbelief, in our running away from suffering, from God’s work in the world he is redeeming and establishing his kingdom, may we hear the crucified and resurrected Jesus’s questions to us: do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?

Now these three remain, belief in the crucifixion, hope in the resurrection, and love in the name of Jesus. And the greatest of these is love.

A Lenten Prayer

Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, worthily lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness, may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

The Servant-Leader

There seems to be a lack of great leaders in our society. It's easy to be the person in charge, it's easy to be named head-honcho, but it's a totally other thing to have the skill and knowledge to do the next right thing as a leader. In politics, where are the great leaders? In business, where are the great leaders? In culture, where are the great leaders? In religion, where are the great leaders?

Yes, there are people calling the shots, but where are the people with the courage, the integrity, the wisdom to call to make the right decisions? The temptation is to not consider yourself a leader, to avoid the responsibilities of leading those in need around you. Maybe there is a lack of great leaders because too many give in to the temptation to stay quiet, to not get too involved, to not care so much.

For all Christians who serve and care and get involved in the messiness of other people's lives, we must learn to be great leaders. Not just great leaders, but servant-leaders like Jesus.  Henri Nouwen reflects on this:

After having asked Peter three times, "Do you love me?" Jesus says, "Feed my lambs, look after my sheep, feed my sheep." Having been assured of Peter's love, Jesus gives him the task of ministry. In the context of our culture we might hear this in a very individualistic way as if Peter now was being sent on a heroic mission.

But when Jesus speaks about shepherding, he does not want us to think about a brave, lonely shepherd who takes care of a large flock of obedient sheep. In many ways, he makes it clear that ministry is communal and mutual experience.

First of all, Jesus sends the twelve out in pairs. We keep forgetting that we are being sent out two by two. We cannot bring good news on our own. We are called to proclaim the Gospel together, in community.

I need my brothers and sisters to pray with me, to speak with me about the spiritual task at hand, and to challenge me to stay pure in mind, heart, and body. But far more importantly, it is Jesus who heals, not I; Jesus who speaks words of truth, not I; Jesus who is Lord, not I. This is very clearly made visible when we proclaim the redeeming power of God together.

Ministry is not only a communal experience, it is also a mutual experience. Jesus, speaking about his own shepherding ministry, says, "I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for my sheep." As Jesus ministers, so he wants us to minister.

He wants Peter to feed his sheep and care for them, not as "professionals" who know their clients' problems and take care of them, but as vulnerable brothers and sisters who know and are known, who care and are cared for, who forgive and are being forgiven, who love and are being loved. Somehow we have come to believe that good leadership requires a safe distance from those we are called to lead.

But how can anyone lay down his life for those with whom he is not even allowed to enter into a deep relationship? Laying down your life means making your own faith and doubt, hope and despair, joy and sadness, courage and fear available to others as ways of getting in touch with the Lord of life.

We are not the healers, we are not the reconcilers, we are not the givers of life. We are sinful, broken, vulnerable people who need as much care as anyone we care for. The mystery of ministry is that we have been chosen to make our own limited and very conditional love the gateway for the unlimited and unconditional love of God.

Therefore true ministry must be mutual. When the members of a community of faith cannot truly know and love their shepherd, shepherding quickly becomes a subtle way of exercising power over others and begins to show authoritarian and dictatorial traits. The world in which we live - a world of efficiency and control - has no models to offer to show who wants to be shepherds in the way Jesus was a shepherd.

The leadership about which Jesus speaks is of a radically different kind from the leadership offered by the world. It is a servant leadership in which the leader is a vulnerable servant who needs the people as much as they need him or her.

From this it is clear that a whole new type of leadership is asked for in the Church of tomorrow, a leadership which is not modeled on the power games of the world, but on the servant-leader, Jesus, who came to give his life for the salvation of many.
~In the Name of Jesus, pg39-45

Who Can Do It All Alone

Life was not meant to be lived alone. You ought to live such that you have at least one good friend. To have a friend, be a friend. And when it comes to ministry, no one ought to serve and care for others all alone. Christian ministry flows out of a community. While everyone may have different skills and knowledge to contribute, we need each other.

But in our culture, within the church and throughout our society, there is a special place in our hearts for those people that can thrive and achieve something great all by themselves. We have a special admiration for those gifted and talented women and men who can do so much seemingly all alone.
It is a mirage.

The downside of this mirage is that we become disappointed in ourselves when we need someone. We hold it against ourselves if we must lean on another in order to succeed. Thus even our achievements are cheapened because we couldn't do it all alone. We become miserable in our loneliness, as well as in our companionship. Ack!

What is the Christian to do - the one who wants to serve and lift up and listen and heal and be good news? Be in community. Let others into your life. Don't seek to go it alone. Cooperation and collaboration reflect your desire for community and accomplishment. Jesus may have gotten a lot more done all by himself, but he was fully human, and he chose twelve men to spend some years with him. And that was a better way.

Here are some reflections by Henri Nouwen on the temptation to do it all alone - life and ministry:

The second temptation to which Jesus was exposed was precisely the temptation to do something spectacular, something that could win him great applause. "Throw yourself from the parapet of the temple and let the angels catch you and carry you in their arms." But Jesus refused to be a stunt man. He did not come to prove himself.

When you look at today's Church, it is easy to see the prevalence of individualism among ministers and priests. Not too many of us have a vast repertoire of skills to be proud of, but most of us still feel that, if we have anything at all to show, it is something we have to do solo.

You could say that many of us feel like failed tightrope walkers who discovered that we did not have the power to draw thousands of people, that we could not make many conversions, that we did not have the talents to create beautiful liturgies, that we were not as popular with the youth, the young adults, or the elderly as we had hoped, and that we were not able to respond to the needs of our people as we had expected.

But most of us still feel that, ideally, we should have been able to do it all and do it successfully.

Stardom and individual heroism, which are such obvious aspects of our competitive society, are not at all alien to the Church. There too the dominant image is that of the self-made man or woman who can do it all alone.
~In the Name of Jesus, pg39-39

Connecting to the Community: with Wallace Butts and Carla Castro

For our final 2011 Lenten Gathering, the 46808 Neighborhood Churches met at Anchor Community Church. We had a great array of piping hot, homemade soups and chili! We also had the Fort Wayne Fatherhood Coalition join us, represented by the Coalition Coordinator, Wallace Butts. Carla Castro also shared a bit she is Anchor's Community Connections Director, as well as the coordinator of programs for FWFC hosted by Anchor. She is also the marketing director for FWFC - that's a lot of hats! She wears them well.

Wallace started off our time together with this great video that highlights the joy and dedication of some great dad!



This was followed up by some sad and sobering statistics on what a family can become without a good dad involved in the home. Here's a few to consider:
* 63% of teen suicides come from homes with uninvolved fathers.
 5 times the national average.
* 90% of all runaways and homeless children are from homes with uninvolved fathers.
32 times the national average.
* 85% of children with behavioral problems come from homes with uninvolved fathers.
20 times the national average.

What can neighborhood churches do when they realize that dads in their congregation - and in their community - need help? Help to become a better dad, to become a more involved dad, to be a more confident and caring dad? The Fort Wayne Fatherhood Coalition consists of churches and non-profit organizations committed to providing helpful services to dads. We also connect with other dad-oriented organizations for the sake of collaboration and improved services for the dads we are helping. When dads want to get help, we want to be there for them. And with them.

For more information, check out the FWFC website. You'll see the organizations that consist of the coalition, as well as more details about the services we provide.

It's worth noting where the Fort Wayne Fatherhood Coalition came from. Last year, our 46808 Neighborhood Churches met with Judge Charles Pratt and Kate Rusher to learn more about the court system. We had discovered that many, many families in our neighborhood had some member caught up in the system. How could a church become helpful to a family involved in the court system? That's what we wanted to find out. Find out what we learned!

It was fun meeting with Judge Pratt to prepare for that series. In the weeks leading up to our Lenten series, Judge Pratt approached our churches, along with other congregations and non-profits in the community to pitch the idea of a fatherhood coalition. Indiana Youth Institute had an opportunity for a fatherhood initiative if there were interested organizations. The interest was definitely there! IYI provided great support, some great leaders emerged, and within a few months a coalition had been created.

Almost two-hundred dads were served last year through our coalition. The knowledge that was shared, the skills imparted, the relationships formed, and the homes impacted - its a great reward for the families and the coalition. We owe a debt of gratitude to Judge Pratt for introducing us to the idea, and to Indiana Youth Institute for making the opportunity a reality.

It's amazing what can happen in a year - for dads, for FWFC, for our congregations, for our city.

Prayer That Keeps You Rooted

What's prayer all about for you? Is it about getting stuff from God? Is it a divine 911 call-line? Is it just one more thing to feel guilty about not doing? Is it a source of skepticism and disappointment?

As a Christian who wants to make a difference for God and for good, you kinda hafta be a praying person. How could you be a Christian leader, a minister of Jesus, a priest who mediates between God and humanity if you don't do much meditation? If you're not talking to God much, how can you help others become rooted in him? If you're not doing much listening to Him, why should anyone do any listening to you?

I get it: you're stuck between the desire to help - you have a caring heart, BUT you're also busy and don't have a lot of time to give to praying, you have a lot on your mind, and you're often tempted to disbelieve that praying makes a big difference. Am I close? Is this you? It's sometimes me.

These words from Henri Nouwen about contemplative prayer and Christian leaders - it's what I needed to hear today:

Christian leaders cannot simply be persons who have well-informed opinions about the burning issues of our time. Their leadership must be rooted in the permanent, intimate relationship with the incarnate Word, Jesus, and they need to find there the source for their words, advice, and guidance.

Through the discipline of contemplative prayer, Christians leaders have to learn to listen again and again to the voice of love and to find there the wisdom and courage to address whatever issue presents itself to them. Dealing with burning issues without being rooted in a deep personal relationship with God easily leads to divisiveness, because before we know it, our sense of self is caught up in our opinion about a given subject.

But when we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with the source of life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative.
~ In the Name of Jesus, pg31-32

Most of us are one step away from contemplative prayer. We already worry. We obsess. We go over stuff in our head. We lay awake at night mulling things over, trying to figure out what is going on and what to do next. Contemplative prayer includes God in on what you've got going inside your mind already. You're thinking about something with your kids. Include God in on it. Your marriage is causing confusion. Include God in on it. Work or school is a source of anxiety. Include God in on your swirling thoughts.

Contemplative prayer keeps you rooted in what God is doing already - in you, through you, in others. Direct your deep and constant concerns towards God. He listens to you, and then you...listen...to...him.... To know God is to trust him, to be rooted in him. To lead and love in the name of Jesus is to listen to Him.

To Know and To Love

What do you look for in a Christian leader?

As Christianity continues to decline in the West, what ought to be the priority for Christian leaders?

We live in the wealthiest nation EVER! Wealth of information, wealth of opportunity, wealth of stuff. And yet we are one of the most obese, medicated, lonely peoples ever. Within our swirling culture, what is the best contribution a Christian leader can make? As a priest - a mediator between God and humanity - what is our task in these confusing and turbulent days?

Henri Nouwen has this to say about the Christian leader of the future:

The Christian leader of the future is the one who truly knows the heart of God as it has become flesh, "a heart of flesh," in Jesus.

Knowing God's heart means consistently, radically, and very concretely to announce and reveal that God is love and only love, and that every time fear, isolation, or despair begin to invade the human soul this is not something that comes from God.

Knowing the heart of Jesus and loving him are the same thing. The knowledge of Jesus' heart is a knowledge of the heart. And when we live in the world with that knowledge, we cannot do other than bring healing, reconciliation, new life and hope wherever we go.

The desire to be relevant and successful will gradually disappear, and our only desire will be to say with our whole being to our brothers and sisters of the human race, "You are loved. There is no reason to be afraid."
~In the Name of Jesus, pg 25, 27

If you want to make a difference in your own home, if you want to expand your heart, you are invited to know Jesus. You must step forward and lead your self, your family, your friends into a new place of hope and healing. You must become a leader by actually leading - taking initiative, planning ahead, bringing others along with you, implementing change. Your home needs you to be a leader. Your church needs it. Your work needs it. Your school needs it. You need it.

To know Jesus - his words, his works, his way - is to know his loyalty to you, his faithfulness, his devotion and sacrifice and trustworthiness. He is to us what he wants us to be to others. To let him lead you is how you are able to lead others. This may be a new definition of leadership for you. In light of how things are going, I'd say we probably need a new kind of leader for the future. A different kind of Christian for tomorrow. One through whom others know and love Jesus.

In Our World of Loneliness and Despair

As Christians who care, we work to bring hope and help to a situation. We minister as priests, mediators between God and humanity - for God is the one who fuels hope and sustains real help. When we bring hope and help to our neighbor, we let it come from Him through us. As little Christ's, we follow in the way of Jesus, meeting others in their hard times with a heart of love, a heart that knows God.

Henri Nouwen writes at length about Jesus and our hearts and hope:

Look at Jesus. The world did not pay any attention to him. He was crucified and put away. His message of love was rejected by a world in search of power, efficiency, and control.

But there he was, appearing with wounds in his glorified body to a few friends who had eyes to see, ears to hear, and hearts to understand. This rejected, unknown, wounded Jesus simply asked, "Do you love me, do you really love me?" He whose only concern had been to announce the unconditional love of God had only one question to ask, "Do you love me?"

The question is not: How many people take you seriously? How much are you going to accomplish? Can you show some results? But: Are you in love with Jesus? Perhaps another way of putting the question would be: Do you know the incarnate God?

In our world of loneliness and despair, there is an enormous need for men and women who know the heart of God, a heart that forgives, that cares, that reaches out and wants to heal. In that heart there is no suspicion, no vindictiveness, no resentment, and not a tinge of hatred. It is a heart that wants only to give love and receive love in response.

It is a heart that suffers immensely because it sees the magnitude of human pain and the great resistance to trusting the heart of God who wants to offer consolation and hope.

Are you in need of hope?

Are you in need of help?

When you reach out to God, he responds in love - he can identify with your loneliness and despair. He meets you where you are at. The greatest difficulty in asking God for help is that you must trust Him, trust His way of helping. If He prompts you to forgive, you must trust Him to forgive. If He moves you to stay loyal, you must trust Him and do so. If He brings someone into your life that offers wisdom and companionship for the long journey, you'll need to trust Him on it and go along.

God will answer your prayers for hope and help by bringing someone alongside you with a heart that knows the heart of God and can be a conduit for his healing love. You must be be willing to receive the answer to your prayers.

And for you, Christian, that cares: are you willing to be part of God's answer to those who whisper "Help..."

Connecting to the Community: with Jocelyn Smith

For our third Lenten gathering, the 46808 Neighborhood Churches met at Trinity United Methodist Church with Jocelyn Smith of Rising Stars, a ministry of Associated Churches of Fort Wayne and Allen County. Jocelyn is the Community Connector for our neighborhood, and works with four local elementary schools: Washington, Nebraska, Bloomingdale, and Franke Park. Jocelyn was joined by the Rising Stars Director, Sarah Adams.

Together the two of them presented to the gathered churches the origins of Rising Stars, the difference it is currently making in the community, and what is next. It was great to have Grace Presbyterian, First Mennonite, Anchor Community, United Faith Presbyterian, and members from Trinity United Methodist come together to strengthen our partnership with Rising Stars and as members of the Associated Churches.

Rising Stars is doing great work in our local elementary schools - and providing a great opportunity for collaboration with neighborhood churches. Community Connectors like Jocelyn Smith build relationships with schools and churches, becoming a link for support and fulfilling needs. Schools always needs supplies for their students, and sometimes they need help with clothing and other essentials. But the biggest need that has surfaced is support for the parents - training opportunities that improve parenting skills, strengthen families, and nurture a better performing school.

Recently, in partnership with Youth Services Bureau and the Fort Wayne Fatherhood Coalition, Rising Stars was able to start parenting classes in a number of local elementary schools, including Nebraska Elementary School, which is ten blocks south of Anchor. These STEP classes are taught by facilitators trained through YSB and funded by Fort Wayne Fatherhood Coalition. Rising Stars then works with local churches like Anchor and Trinity, to help pay for food costs, provide volunteers and help with incentives. Parents are getting help, the Aha! moments are happening - this is neighborhood collaboration at its best! 

Sarah Adams shared some compelling stories:
*A Bloomingdale student came to school irregularly - she had to share her wintercoat with a sibling. When news reached the school, Rising Stars stepped in to provide a coat so that both students could go to school everyday wearing their own warm winter coats.
*At a different school, a family had split up - and then all their possessions were destroyed in a fire. Through the school, Rising Stars was able to provide gift cards to help them recover. The family got the help they needed, they have come back together, are in a different home, part of a local church, and have started a new life together.
*A principal shared that different teachers said they could feel the presence of God in their classrooms. The love and support they get from Rising Stars is like a big huge hug!

Churches can do more together. God does some of his best work through congregations that collaborate in their city to serve and love in the name of Jesus. To learn more about how you can get involved and make a difference for good, check out these links below:

Associated Churches of Fort Wayne and Allen County

Rising Stars Ministry

Nebraska Elementary School


Fort Wayne Fatherhood Coalition

Youth Services Bureau


Trinity United Methodist Church

Grace Presbyterian Church

Anchor Community Church



Also: NeighborLink Fort Wayne

Irrelevant and Truly Self-Confident

What's at the heart of Christian ministry? If you are a Christian, and you do any kind of serving, caring, helping, praying, etc, you are doing ministry. That makes you a Christian minister. A little Christ ministering in the way of Jesus. What is central to ministering in the name of Christ?

Henri Nouwen puts it like this:

Before Jesus commissioned Peter to be a shepherd he asked him, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these others do?" He asked him again, "Do you love me?" And a third time he asked, "Do you love me?"

We have to hear that question as being central to all of our Christian ministry because it is the question that can allow us to be, at the same time, irrelevant and truly self-confident.
~In the Name of Jesus, p23

To be irrelevant is to be free. Free from unrealistic expectations. Free from legalistic burdens. To be irrelevant is to be free to be led by the Spirit of God. And to be self-confident - most of us can only dream of becoming such. To be self-confident in our serving, in our caring, in our helping, in our listening, in our correcting, in our mentoring, in our loving...such is the way of Jesus.

Let Jesus ask you the question he put to Peter. Listen to the probing interrogation. He is looking into your eyes - that strong, steady, gentle, intense gaze: Do. You. Love. Me?

A Deep Current of Despair

When you are out in public, do you ever people-watch? You may already know that body-language makes up about 80% of personal communication. You can tell a lot about a person by how they walk, how they stand and lean and slouch and shuffle. Not everything, but a lot. Behind the make-up, behind the clothes, behind the attitude, what do you see?

As someone who cares, as a Christian who ministers, as a priest who mediates between God and humanity, what do you do with what is really going on inside others? Do you realize what is churning inside of so many of us?

Henri Nouwen has these penetrating insights into the reality of those who minister and those we see:

In this climate of secularization, Christian leaders feel less and less relevant and more and more marginal. Many begin to wonder why they should stay in the ministry. Often they leave, develop a new competency, and join their contemporaries in their attempts to make relevant contributions to a better world.

But there is a completely different story to tell. Beneath all the great accomplishments of our time there is a deep current of despair. While efficiency and control are the great aspirations of our society, the loneliness, isolation, lack of friendship and intimacy, broken relationships, boredom, feelings of emptiness and depression, and a deep sense of uselessness fill the hearts of millions of people in our success-oriented world.

And the cry that arises...is: Is there anybody who loves me; is there anybody who really cares? Is there anybody who wants to stay home for me? Is there anybody who wants to be with me when I am not in control, when I feel like crying? Is there anybody who can hold me and give me a sense of belonging?

Feeling irrelevant is a much more general experience than we might think when we look at our seemingly self-confident society. Medical technology and the tragic increase in abortions may radically diminish the number of mentally handicapped people in our society, but it is already becoming apparent that more and more people are suffering from profound moral and spiritual handicaps without having any idea of where to look for healing.

It is here that the need for a new Christian leadership becomes clear. The leader of the future will be the one who dares to claim his irrelevance in the contemporary world as a divine vocation that allows him or her to enter into deep solidarity with the anguish underlying all the glitter of success and to bring the light of Jesus there.
~In the Name of Jesus, p20-23

Does that resonate with you?

The new Christian leader will enter into deep solidarity with those caught up in the deep current of despair - and bring the light of Jesus there.

To the despairing: may enough Christians hear your cry and see your eyes and enter into solidarity with you, bringing the light of Jesus to you.

They Are Very Busy

We've been making the contention that every Christian is a priest. Our role of mediation between God and humanity takes the form of ministry. Through our actions, our works, our deeds we reveal the mercy and will of God in the world, we become the answers to the prayers of the people. In our everyday life at work and home and school and church, while shopping and dining and playing and strolling, with the people we come across in our day - this is also where we mediate and minister.

Do you ever wonder if you are ever really making a difference? Are there moments that make you think that all your help and ministering is for naught? Whether you get paid to be a minister or you volunteer - you've probably faced those moments of self-doubt: does my ministry matter? Should I continue?

Henri Nouwen has been in that place, and here's what he writes about it:

One of the main sufferings experienced in the ministry is that of low self-esteem. Many priests and ministers today increasingly perceive themselves as having very little impact. They are very busy, but they do not see much change.

It seems that their efforts are fruitless. They face an ongoing decrease in church attendance and discover that psychologists, psychotherapists, marriage counselors, and doctors are often more trusted than they. Meanwhile, there is little praise and much criticism in the Church today, and who can live for long in such a climate without slipping into some type of depression?

The secular world around us is saying in a loud voice, "We can take care of ourselves. We do not need God, the Church, or a priest. We are in control. And if we are not, then we have to work harder to get in control. The problem is not lack of faith, but lack of competence."
~In the Name of Jesus, p19-20

It's ironic: the people who need help, well part of their problem is that they are very busy; and the people who want to help, well they are very busy helping. We are all very busy! Who is the man, who is the woman who will step out in faith and refuse to be busy? It would take great imagination to conceive of a life that is not dominated by being busy - and it would require you to not be busy. What to do?

If you want to really help someone, you must trust God to guide your steps - He will not cause you to be too busy. If you want help - if you really want God's help - you must trust him to slow down your steps so that you are not so busy.
You can't do reflection and repentance on the run.
You can't change your heart if you're too busy to cook a meal at home with your family. 

Reading the Gospels, one never gets the sense that Jesus was busy. He worked hard, he suffered, he applied himself diligently, but he wasn't busy. To serve in the name of Jesus does not require you to be busy. 

To receive the help of Jesus will require you to slow down - this sometimes looks like the wheels falling off of your life. Consider it a blessing. Incompetence is not necessarily your problem, rather it's your unwillingness to trust God's way. Your way makes you too busy and impotent. You can find a new way.

Connecting to the Community: with Megan Kelly

Tonight we met at Grace Presbyterian Church with Megan Kelly of Great KIDS make Great COMMUNITIES. Megan presented an overview of the 40 Developmental Assets, particularly those that congregations can build into kids and youth. It was a lot of good information, a very empowering session. Our 46808 Neighborhood Churches want to make our neighborhood a better place to live - and building assets into children and teens is a key investment.

Here's some highlights from the evening:
* the average American kid has about 19 assets in their life
* kids and youth who are involved in their local church have on average about 21 assets in their life
* kids and youth who are not involved in a local church have on average about 15 assets in their life
* while the ideal goal is for each child and teen to have all forty developmental assets in their life, having at least 30 will make a big difference in their life
* churches can make a key difference in the life of a child and teen directly, and indirectly through supporting parents and other local agencies.

The 40 Developmental Assets are a result of research done by the Search Institute. You can read about all the assets by clicking here. Search Institute has identified these building blocks of healthy development - known as Developmental Assets - that help young people grow up healthy, caring, and responsible. The research shows that the more positive experiences children have in their lives, the greater the likelihood that they will succeed developmentally.


What are the developmental assets that congregations can naturally build into young people?
*provide support through other adult relationships: young people need to receive support from three or more nonparent adults
*empowerment through fostering a place of safety: young people need to feel safe at home, school, and in the neighborhood
*availability of adult role models: young people need parents and other adults to model positive, responsible behavior

*nurture a constructive use of time through involvement in a religious community: young people ought to spend at least one or more hours per week in activities with a religious institution
*demonstrate positive values like caring and helping others, equality and justice for others in need, integrity with convictions, honesty when it's not easy, accepting responsibility, and showing restraint towards unhealthy behaviors
* foster a sense of purpose: young people need to feel like their life has a meaningful purpose

For a great list of specific activities of what congregations can do to build into kids and youth, click here.

In what ways has Anchor been building assets into the life of our children and teens over the past bunch of years? Here's some observations. What would you add to the list?
* serve on the worship team as singers, Scripture readers, and instrumentalists
* serve as candlelighters, ushers, and communion servers
* serve on community service projects in the neighborhood

* raise their own funds for youth trips and projects
* raise funds for people in need - in our community and around the world
* participate in small groups led by caring, fun, responsible adults
* enjoy a safe place to spend their morning singing, learning, and praying
* worship and serve alongside adults ranging from young to old

Temptation To Be Relevant

So you find yourself caring. You care about the people in your life. You care about your community. You care about the burning issues of your day. You care about victims of earthquakes and political revolutions. Like Jesus, you care.

Henri Nouwen thinks that Jesus' first temptation was to be relevant. It's a temptation that almost every pastor faces, every Christian who cares about their church and family members and neighbor faces. Here's what Nouwen writes:

Are we not called to do something that makes people realize that we do make a difference in their lives? Aren't we called to heal the sick, feed the hungry, and alleviate the suffering of the poor?

Jesus was faced with these same questions, but when he was asked to prove his power as the Son of God by the relevant behavior of changing stones to bread, he clung to his mission to proclaim the word and said, "Human beings live not by bread alone, but by every word that comes form the mouth of God."
~In the Name of Jesus, p18-19

It's worth reflecting on why Jesus refused the devil's offer. Maybe it's a simple answer: always reject what the devil offers! But the opposite would be: always accept what God offers. Which is exactly what Jesus ends up saying. It sounds so easy! But the devil knows how to offer an alternative way that comes across as very appealing. Very appealing. And convenient. And helpful. Relevant.

Why do you want to help people? When it comes to caring for people, how much of it is about you? When you reach out to someone, do you ever let God prompt you forward? Does the way of Jesus determine your course of action, or do you let yourself get driven by your own desires for compassion?

There is no substitute for knowing God's word to his people. If you are a Christian, and you don't ever let God's word direct your steps of help and compassion, you may find yourself merely turning stones to bread. You maybe be popular and helpful, but you aren't connecting people to the God who saves and rescues and heals. The temptation to be relevant is powerful, it is hard to resist.

Called To Be Completely Irrelevant

What makes for a good Christian leader? What are the qualities you look for?

How would you know if you were a good Christian leader?

Here's what Henri Nouwen has to say about it:

...I am deeply convinced that the Christian leader of the future is called to be completely irrelevant and to stand in this world with nothing to offer but his or her own vulnerable self. That is the way Jesus came to reveal God's love.

The great message that we have to carry, as ministers of God's word and followers of Jesus, is that God loves us not because of what we do or accomplish, but because God has created and redeemed us in love and has chosen us to proclaim that love as the true source of human life.

How do these thoughts alter your perspective of what makes for a good Christian leader?

Too often we feel like we must choose between an effective leader and a loving leader. A leader needs to be effective, but a Christian leader must also be one who loves in the name of Jesus. Without love, that leader is like a annoying, clanging cymbal. 

Your willingness to offer your vulnerable self to God and your neighbor, in the name of Jesus, positions you for Christian leadership. Your ability to express the way God loves you - not in superspiritual lingo, not with big Christianese phrases - enables you to minister to others. This is Christian leadership at its core - leading people and organizations and communities into a way of life of loving your neighbor as God loves you.

The temptation is to skimp on love. The temptation is to continually think of yourself as a loving person. The temptation is to believe in the power of love without being a conduit for the power of love. As a Christian you have nothing to offer but your own vulnerable self, loved by God.

To some this is the way of irrelevance. But it is the way of Jesus.

Does Becoming Older Bring Me Closer to Jesus?

Becoming older can merely make us cynical or stiff-necked. But it can also make us wiser and sweeter. When it comes to knowing Jesus, the experiences that come from getting older can draw us closer to him, or push us further away. That temptation never ceases.

For Henri Nouwen, he puts it like this:

Did becoming older bring me closer to Jesus? After twenty-five years in the priesthood, I found myself praying poorly, living somewhat isolated from other people, and very much preoccupied with burning issues. Everyone was saying that I was doing really well, but something inside me was telling me that my success was putting my own soul in danger.

I began to ask myself whether my lack of contemplative prayer, my loneliness, and my constantly changing involvement in what seemed most urgent were signs that the Spirit was gradually being suppressed. It was very hard for me to see clearly, and though I never spoke about hell or only jokingly so, I woke up one day with the realization that I was living in a very dark place and that the term "burnout" was a convenient psychological translation for a spiritual death.

In the midst of this, I kept praying, "Lord, show me where you want me to go and I will follow you, but please be clear and unambiguous about it!" Well God was.

As a Christian, you may not think of yourself as a priest, but you are. If you are trying to help your friends or family get to know God better, you are doing the work of a priest. If you care about the faith of others, you have the heart of a priest. And every Christian who cares and takes initiative and gets involved at some point faces burnout. We suppress the Spirit. This also is a temptation that never ceases.

Does your current way of life make contemplative prayer unrealistic? Are you surrounded by people, yet still feeling disconnected and lonely? Do you find yourself caring about burning issues in the lives of people around you, yet you find yourself filled with low-grade despair about people and their possibility of changing? Is getting older as a Christian resulting in you becoming closer to Jesus?

So what is it about becoming older as a Christian that helps me become close to Jesus? The temptation is to dismiss the question. Or to answer it too quickly, too hastily. The following blogposts will address these issues, using Scripture texts from Jesus in the Wilderness, and Jesus' to Peter to become a Shepherd.

Connecting to the Community: With Judge Pratt

Churches in the 46808 Neighborhood gathered together tonight at First Mennonite Church to meet with Judge Charles Pratt. He was joined by his assistant Kate Rusher, the Assistant Chief Juvenile Probation Officer at Allen Superior Court.

Here's an overview of some of the material Judge Pratt shared with us in regard to reporting child abuse and neglect:
First: is the child under the age of 18?
Second: which of these in the "general neglect category" apply -
* Food
* Clothing
* Shelter
* Supervision
* Medical Care
* Education

Third: Does the neglect have a corresponding serious harm to the child?
Fourth: Has your congregation's offer to help or help from other agencies been ignored or refused?
Fifth: Has there been an act - or a failure to act - that resulted in injury (an injury that is not typical given the age, the place of the injury, and the extent of it)?
Sixth: Has there been injuries from an act of domestic violence (or has the child been exposed to domestic violence)?

When reporting, be sure to:
* Give specific conditions of the home if you deem it to be unsafe
* Articulate clearly the circumstances that you deem to of serious harm (untreated medical care, failure to provide food, inadequate shelter, children left alone, etc.)
* Call the child abuse and neglect hotline as soon as you have compiled your information: 1-800-800-5556. If you think the child is in immediate danger, call your local police.

Possible victims of sex offenses:
If the child provides you with facts that he or she has been sexually victimized, then do the following:
* Make notes for your later recollection about the child's comments.
* Do not ask the child questions. There is protocol for interviewing the children that requires an expert to complete
* Contact the police and the hotline.
* Assure the child that you are acting to protect him or her.
* Remember that the child - regardless of his or her participation in the abuse - is a victim.

As our churches become more involved in the neighborhood, and as we come alongside more families, we are seeing more children in dire circumstances. The question arises: what's the best way to serve the children and their families? And: how can we best partner with the court system to better serve those involved in abuse and neglect cases? This is how we subvert the powers of injustice.

Jesus commanded his disciples to go preach the kingdom of God and heal the sick. This is motivation for us to meet with Judge Pratt and collaborate with him in better caring for our neighbors. We are a community of churches that want to make our neighborhood a better place to live, in the name of Jesus.

We met with Judge Pratt and Kate Rusher last year - over a period of four weeks they introduced us to the court system from the perspective of children, youth, and adults. They also helped us connect with available resources like Great Communities Make Great Kids, the YWCA: Domestic Violence Services, CASA: Court Appointed Special Advocates for Children, and others.

This year we wanted to follow up with Judge Pratt and Kate Rusher and learn more about CHINS (Children In Need of Services). Next week we will meet with Megan Kelly who directs Great Communities Make Great Kids - and will do a presentation on the 40 Developmental Assets that church communities can best offer to kids and youth. The following week we'll meet with Jocelyn Smith of Rising Stars, and then the final week we'll meet with Wallace Butts of the Fort Wayne Fatherhood Coalition.

God is a God of the Present

You are a Christian. You are a priest. You are a leader. You face temptations.

Henri Nouwen was in this category as well, and he was asked to speak about Christian leadership in the twenty-first century. He writes this:

But after having said "Yes" to the invitation, I realized that it was far from easy to come up with a sane perspective on Christian leadership in the coming century.

I wondered how it would be possible to look ahead of me, when I considered that nobody in the fifties could have forseen the situation of most priests [and Christian leaders] today.

I came to see that I should not worry about tomorrow, next week, next year, or the next century. The more willing I was to look honestly at what I was thinking and saying and doing now, the more easily I would come in touch with the movement of God's Spirit in me, leading me to the future.

God is a God of the present and reveals to those who are willing to listen carefully to the moment in which they live the steps they are to take toward the future. "Do not worry about tomorrow," Jesus says, "tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34).

You may not feel like you are a priest, or a leader, or a very good Christian, but you are quite aware of your temptations. Your way out of your temptations will be how you blossom as a Christian, become a helpful leader, and a caring priest. You may just want delivered from your temptations without all the leadership and priest stuff. I'm not sure that's the way it works.

God is still God in your present circumstances - no matter how confusing or disappointing or fulfilling. No matter how you perceive your situation, there is still the desperate need to listen carefully to Him about your next steps into the future. Your temptations can be an ongoing burden to you, or, when you get in touch with God's Spirit, they can be the gateway to a new day. Welcome to the way of becoming a Christian priest and leader.

Your Temptations & Tomorrow

If you are a Christian, you are a priest.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy. [1Peter 2v9-10]

You may not ever think of yourself as a priest, you may not be able to point out actions in your life that reveal you to be a priest, but that doesn't make the identity less true.

As a priest, you face temptations. One of those temptations is too see yourself as disqualified for priesthood, or deny that you are in fact part of a royal priesthood. The temptation may be to see yourself as unusable, as part of a useless community.

A priest is one who mediates between your neighbor and God. When you pray for someone, you are doing the work of a priest. When you listen to someone talk about God, you are being a priest to them. When you help someone forgive, when you help someone understand the Scriptures, when you guide people into truth and grace as taught us by Jesus, you are being a priest. When you love your neighbor as a way to love God, you are being a priest. To be a Christian is to be a priest.

Priests face deadly temptations. Peter the Apostle writes with this reality in mind:

Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us. [1Peter 2v11-12]

Not only is a priest a mediator between God and man, and not only does a priest face deadly temptations, but a priest is also a leader. This is a self-evident point, but it is too often overlooked. A priest who wrote true and helpful words about priesthood and leadership, Henri Nouwen, has some keen observations on Christian leadership in our century.

By reading his writings for Lent, my hope is that you will more fully embrace your identity as a priest, that you will find courage and wisdom to overcome temptations, and a vision for what your life as a leader can look like for others.

Anchor needs you to be a priest who embraces the task of leadership. Tomorrow needs you to accept your tasks today. Your friends need this, your family needs this, you need to do this. Temptations will never cease, and thus there is always the need for priests to help others overcome and recover. You need a priest to help you, and others need you to be the priest to help them. To be the Anchor is to be the priest to your neighbor.

You may find all this talk about being a priest rather odd, uncomfortable, or heretical.

May you not be so turned off or tuned out that you miss an opportunity to stretch your understanding of your life in Christ. It could be that your view of the world is too small. Your Jesus may be too small. Your perspective of who you are in Christ may be too small. The temptation may be to avoid obedience tomorrow by keeping your faith small today.

How'd Your Second Day of Lent Go?

What did you give up for Lent?

How's it going on your second day? 

I've already failed. At a meeting for pastors, no less!

I worked hard all day to avoid snacking on dessert stuff. And then I went to the Associated Churches Meet -n- Greet tonight and mindlessly grabbed two oatmeal raisin cookies. Ack! I didn't even think about what I did until I got home later that night. So tomorrow is a new day. And a birthday party! Oh my... what will I do?

Oh well. I'm at the beginning of an adventure. I only fail if I quit. And I'm not going to quit. So I guess I didn't fail...

I'm reminded of the kind of intentionality it takes to make a change. It's hard to keep with a commitment. Others might think it trivial what you give up for Lent. But don't underestimate the good of denying yourself. Whether it's desserts or pop or chocolate or meat or beer or smokes or porn or hate - whatever it is you decided to give up for Lent - the act of giving something up that you are attached too... this is good for you. Small or significant, putting the energy into different forms of fasting builds spiritual strength. 

You probably need more spiritual strength. Lent is a good season for testing yourself in the area of self-denial. Not in a spirit of legalism, but in spiritual development and reflection. You need to let go of some unnecessary things in order to receive what you need. 

So even if you're already struggling with your Lenten commitment, don't give up. The struggle is good for you. Don't quit. Yet. Let the struggle and the faltering prompt you to pray and reflect and try again. And again. Forty days can make a difference in your life.

You can do it.