Parish Nurse Notes: Cyber-Bullying

My previous blog dealt with the subject of bullying, its various forms and the signs that it is taking place. In this blog I would like to talk about one of the more insidious forms of bullying, cyberbullying.

As we all know, we live in a world full of technology. Computers, cell phones and so forth are evolving every day as more and more technology boosts our ability to communicate, do business, and have fun. But there is also a very sinister side to all this technology. As always sin crouches at every opportunity to use whatever means possible to do evil.

This year I have been doing some guest teaching at various schools, and grades in the Fort Wayne area. I have been amazed at the technology that kids bring in their pockets every day. One day I inquired at the office of a moderately large school. My question was what to do when I am teaching a class, and I find kids actively using various forms of technology, ie. cell phones and iPods. To my amazement the answer given was “Well if the student using the device isn’t bothering anybody we usually don’t do anything.” I was amazed at the number of kids who were ignoring the lesson at hand, in order to use these devices on a regular basis.

Bullies have also seized upon technology to aid in their misdeeds. Cyber-bullying is a form of bullying does not require the bully to be face to face with his/her victim. This form of bullying has been shown to peak around the end of middle school, and the beginning of high school.

Examples of cyberbullying include but are not limited to:
-sending rude, threatening, and abusive messages via cell phone or computer.
-the use of “social networks” to spread lies, rumors, or other false information.
-using websites to post videos or other social media with the goal of humiliating, and embarrassing others.

This form of bullying is insidious because it can take place at any time of the day or night. It can be spread to many different audiences, and can be spread anonymously.

This problem has major social consequences for its victims. Some problems include skipping school, poor grades, low self esteem, and various physical and mental issues. Students who are victimized have higher rates of alcohol and drug use and are more likely to have face to face interaction with the bully.

One of the best tools we have to help stem this bullying is to listen to our kids. Be proactive and question them if there is any problem either face to face, or through technology.

In conclusion: Cyberbullying is on the rise every day. Its victims may be hesitant to reveal the issue due to embarrassment or fear of retribution.

Visit  this website - it has a lot of helpful information: stopbullying.gov

Keep watching your kids. We cannot depend on school systems, and organizations for kids to keep watch, and deal effectively with this issue. Parents and other family members have the advantage to be the ones who help stem the tide of this growing issue.

Scott G. Eddy, RN BSN

Parish Nurse Notes: Bullying

Anchor Community has been collaborating with 46808 Neighborhood Churches with the purpose of helping build a stronger, responsible, and healthier neighborhood. There are many subjects and issues that can be addressed. Among those issues are raising great teens who will grow up one day to be responsible citizens in our own neighborhoods and towns.

One issue has come to the forefront for almost all teens in one way or another: bullying. In recent research 43,321 teens were surveyed. The age range was 15-18 in 78 different public schools, and 22 private schools. Amazingly, a full 24% reported that they feared going to school, and found school to be an unhappy, and unsafe place to be. It was also found that 37% of boys and 19% of girls felt violence in schools was okay.

In other research, it has been found that as many as 100,000 students have gone to school while carrying firearms. 77% of students in one research group admitted to being bullied at some point. It is estimated that as many as half the incidents of bullying are never reported…..even considering that as many as 14% of students have had severe negative events related to bullying.

One big problem with bullying in 2011 is that it is no longer limited to just verbal threats and physical violence. Bullying has many faces including:
-relational...ie. withdrawing emotional, social, and friendship benefits to punish a victim
-racial...indirect racial slurs, graffiti, exclusion from various social settings and activities, and harassment
-sexual...sexual remarks, inappropriate touching,
-cyberbullying...threats and harassment over various internet social sites such as Facebook etc.

Very serious problems can result for bullied teens including physical harm as well as depression and social isolation. In the next couple of blogs I will discuss more in depth the problems related to bullying….and some of the steps we can take both in the Church, and in the community to help stem the epidemic which is overtaking so many of our teens.

Scott G. Eddy, RN BSN


Reference: USA Live Headlines.Com

Connecting to the Community: with Megan Kelly

Tonight we met at Grace Presbyterian Church with Megan Kelly of Great KIDS make Great COMMUNITIES. Megan presented an overview of the 40 Developmental Assets, particularly those that congregations can build into kids and youth. It was a lot of good information, a very empowering session. Our 46808 Neighborhood Churches want to make our neighborhood a better place to live - and building assets into children and teens is a key investment.

Here's some highlights from the evening:
* the average American kid has about 19 assets in their life
* kids and youth who are involved in their local church have on average about 21 assets in their life
* kids and youth who are not involved in a local church have on average about 15 assets in their life
* while the ideal goal is for each child and teen to have all forty developmental assets in their life, having at least 30 will make a big difference in their life
* churches can make a key difference in the life of a child and teen directly, and indirectly through supporting parents and other local agencies.

The 40 Developmental Assets are a result of research done by the Search Institute. You can read about all the assets by clicking here. Search Institute has identified these building blocks of healthy development - known as Developmental Assets - that help young people grow up healthy, caring, and responsible. The research shows that the more positive experiences children have in their lives, the greater the likelihood that they will succeed developmentally.


What are the developmental assets that congregations can naturally build into young people?
*provide support through other adult relationships: young people need to receive support from three or more nonparent adults
*empowerment through fostering a place of safety: young people need to feel safe at home, school, and in the neighborhood
*availability of adult role models: young people need parents and other adults to model positive, responsible behavior

*nurture a constructive use of time through involvement in a religious community: young people ought to spend at least one or more hours per week in activities with a religious institution
*demonstrate positive values like caring and helping others, equality and justice for others in need, integrity with convictions, honesty when it's not easy, accepting responsibility, and showing restraint towards unhealthy behaviors
* foster a sense of purpose: young people need to feel like their life has a meaningful purpose

For a great list of specific activities of what congregations can do to build into kids and youth, click here.

In what ways has Anchor been building assets into the life of our children and teens over the past bunch of years? Here's some observations. What would you add to the list?
* serve on the worship team as singers, Scripture readers, and instrumentalists
* serve as candlelighters, ushers, and communion servers
* serve on community service projects in the neighborhood

* raise their own funds for youth trips and projects
* raise funds for people in need - in our community and around the world
* participate in small groups led by caring, fun, responsible adults
* enjoy a safe place to spend their morning singing, learning, and praying
* worship and serve alongside adults ranging from young to old

Doing Good in the Neighborhood

Today members of our church walked through the neighborhood picking up the litter alongside the edges of the alleys, sidewalks and streets. 25 of us - age range being 19mos to 75 years old! - took along our trash bags, gloves, poker sticks and wheeled carts for an hour to bless the neighborhood. Albeit our impact was small, but the intent behind it was big - acts of kindness done on purpose are always good.

Anchor used to do this event every year when we first started. One thing led to another and we quit doing it. As a way to celebrate our ten year anniversary this month, we thought it'd be a great idea to bring back one of our original ways of serving our neighbors. Anchor's found plenty of good ways to serve the neighborhood in the past ten years, but what's neat about this task is that it's one for the whole family, and you get to hang out with a bunch of different folks as you walk through the neighborhood.

The neighborhood has changed a little in ten years, some houses and properties look better, others not so much. Still lots of kids in the neighborhood, young families, and plenty of barking dogs! What's important for Anchor to do is keep finding ways to bless our neighbors - in big and small ways - in lots of creative ways, in order to open doors of opportunity.

Here's how it works: God blesses Anchor, and then He makes Anchor a blessing, so that the whole neighborhood/city may be blessed by God through us. Today was one more example of how that worked.

Why Kid's Ministry is Important

Yes, a ministry to children is important.

At Anchor, there are several reasons why we say yes.

One reason: for some children, they will not hear or learn anything constructive about the Scriptures while at home. Over the years, Anchor has had many children come to church on their own, which means that the importance of our kids ministry skyrockets. Within our public schools, the Associated Churches has a program where they travel around to the elementary schools providing some form of religious education. Fortuantely, many children are given some positive teaching about the Scriptures and Christianity. However, there is nothing that replaces the kind of ministry that can happen as part of a church gathering.

Another reason: many parents of children and youth want to make sure that some form of religious teaching is provided. They personally may not be that interested, but they want it for their kids. We're happy to oblige them. We're also convinced that if we do our kids ministry right, the benefits of it will increase the interest of the parents for their own religious awakening. Some of those parents are interested in their own spiritual growth, so they want to make sure that they are part of a church that can help each member of their family mature in their faith. We want to honor that interest.

And not the final reason: the impressions that children have of church has a lifelong impact. We want to make sure that our kids ministry impresses upon children patient love, contagious fun, helpful lessons. If kids have this kind of experience, they will be more likely to stay interested in church as a youth and as an adult. As teens become adults, they will possibly have some disillusionment with the church - it's just what happens. But despite the disillusionment, we want them to still have good memories; memories that provide a seedbed for hope. As teens become adults, they must shed their child-faith and develop an adult-faith; as they do this, we want them to not shed the memories of love, fun, and helpfulness, but to let those memories sustain their desire to rebuild their faith.